Stress management is a pre-preparation of mind and body in response to various challenges in everyday life. A little stress is healthy and motivational to cope with a situation or finish our work timely but too much stress harms our body. In the past few years, there has been a rapid increase in the number of crimes by juveniles and suicide cases by school students. The reasons being either

• exam phobia or
• lower percentage in exams or 
• comparison with others in peer-group or 
• inability to cope with a family crisis or 
• violent video games etc.

How to manage stress?

The children are easily falling prey to negative thoughts, extreme sadness and anger. This is alarming!! Kids might not understand that what haunts them are stress and anxiety and taking revenge or ending their life is no remedy. The only solution is to trick one's mind and checkmate stress.

DESTRESS

Reasons for stress in preteens

• Performance in school and acquiring good grades in exams
• Acceptance in a peer group
• Getting along with siblings
• Comparison by elders
• Lack of sleep
• Lack of nutritious diet
• Fear of any person or object

Symptoms of stress in preteens

 Preadolescence is the initial learning phase and kids are not mature enough to understand restlessness but according to child psychologists they might show the following signs:

• Stomach ache complaints
• Keeping to themselves
• Irritation 
• Lack of sleep
• Nightmares
• Lack of interest in daily activities
• Bedwetting
• Crying 
• Clinging to parents
• Developing negative thoughts about themselves

Reasons for stress in teens

Adolescence is the stage when feelings are cultivating and thoughts are shaping up. It is a very sensitive phase and kids may take rash action due to anxiety and fear to confront a situation. The  reasons being:

• School performances
• Fear of exams
• Overscheduling of tasks
• Comparison with siblings 
• Unhealthy competition in peer-group, bullying by school mates
• Unsafe surroundings
• Physical changes in body
• Any family crises- death, separation of parents, chronic illness, financial problems
• Non-adjustment due to frequent changing of schools 
• Sleep disorder
• Lack of optimum nutrition
• Addiction to media and video games
• Worries about future admission in college/university
• Romantic relationships 

Symptoms of stress in a teen:

• Lack of concentration
• Irritation
• Restlessness
• Frequent headaches and backaches
• Sweating in palms, lack of self-confidence, shaky hands, biting nails
• Fatigue Nausea/constipation
• Change in appetite
• Sleep issues
• Changes in socialisation patterns; keeping isolated
• Illness
• Talking negatively about themselves like"No one likes me" or "I cannot do anything"

Tips for preteens/preadolescents to deal with stress

Cosy home environment: This is the first place where a child can find warmth, comfort and security. The environment at home should be encouraging, motivating and positive.

Academic scores are not the only yardstick: Why is there a compelling need to excel in education when there are so many opportunities in other fields? Many suicides in recent years have been the result of high expectations of parents. Remember not every child is born to excel in academics. Kids expect parental support in what they want to pursue. Lead as a guide in their passion.......it will work.

Parents as first listeners, first preachers: Counsel kids. Provide them comfort, be their friend, listen to them, ask them about their fears-exams, person, objects, spend quality time with them, know their friends and how do they get along. Educate them about good touch and bad touch and strengthen their belief in you so that they share with you any experiences fearlessly and openly.

No comparisons please: Comparisons with siblings and friends is unhealthy for the mental and physical growth of the child. He/she might develop inferiority complex and feelings of rivalry for others. Every child is unique. Encourage them to bring out their inherent qualities.

Prepare a healthy diet plan: Balanced diet is a pacifier for preteens. Optimum nutrition can correct related disorders-eat well, sleep well, feel well.

Tips for teens/adolescents to deal with stress

How to cope with exam phobia? 

Study to overcome exam phobia: Memorise vital points at the end time. One cannot remember word by word. Use coloured post-it or highlighters. Read aloud but do not cram.

 Use the SQ4R method  (Survey, Question, Read, Review, Recite, Recall)

Time management: Maintain a to-do list. Solve past papers in an allotted time span. It will boost confidence and help to assess the preparation at the end time.

Revision: Invest last days before exams wisely in revising the learnt part rather than going for anything new. Break exhaustive study material into smaller modules.  

Start exploring beyond textbooks for an edge: Take advise from teachers and reinforce learning exploring relevant textbooks and biographies. It will help to gain knowledge and make study interesting.

Relaxation: Relax, take short breaks, practise meditation and deep breathing exercises for better concentration on yourself before the exam and inside the examination hall.

Interactive sessions with friends: Regular quiz, question and answer sessions with friends gives way for quick revision, motivates to work hard and encourages healthy competition.

How to ease other stresses of children?(for parents and kids)

Self-awareness: To know oneself is the foremost step to destress. It relieves children from self-imposed pressure and makes them conscious for self-honesty and self-belief.

Schedule tasks wisely: Overscheduling and accumulation of uncompleted tasks lead to stress. Hence prioritise tasks to avoid piling up. 

Sleep well kids: At least 7 to 8 hours of sleep is a must to avoid stress.

Engage in sports or music or other creative works: Outdoor games refresh mind and body and also makes one mentally strong to fight stress. Creative arts and music provide solace and relax the mind.

Exercise, meditate, eat well: Deep breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, visualisation(like imagine a place of choice to relax)stretching and laugh aloud techniques reduce stress. Participating with a child in these exercises destresses both parents and kid.

Spend time together: Time spent together with kids in reading books, watching the screen, going to a picnic or any outing destresses both parents and children. The interaction also acts as a means to know about friend circle and what type of activities they are engaged into(to check the consumption of alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs). 

Monitor screen watch: It goes without saying that a watch on digital kids is pivotal to keep stress at bay-the sites being explored, friendships through social networking sites, types of games being played and duration of playing. 

Impart sex education: As kids grow they are inquisitive about sexuality. They feel shy to open up at home and search for their answers outside or in magazines or on the internet. Unable to gather the right information leads to stress. Therefore it is the duty of parents to impart age-appropriate sex education to kids to satisfy their quest. Proper guidance will ensure positivity towards sexuality and awareness about the repercussions of crossing the limits.

Teaching kids skills to cope with stress is one part of stress management. The other being an inevitable awareness campaign to destress and decontaminate our society from growing anger, impatience and expectations from kids in the name of growth and development. We have dragged our children in a rat race to learn fast be it academics or arts or sports etc. Pause for a moment..........children are our soul. Nourish them with love and care. 
Post your stress management mantra for kids in the comment section